How to make friends as an adult

It's not child's play - Making friends as an adult requires positivity and proactivity. When we’re young, the circumstances of our lives (school, neighborhood kids, etc.)

Be proactive - The first step is to focus on being open to new people and new experiences.

Dwelling on the negatives - Adult minds are more likely to overthink things like the possibility of rejection or not being fun enough.

Create a life that you enjoy - We feel like we need more friends to be happy and fulfilled, but being happy and fulfilled makes it a lot easier to make new friends.

Get organized - We’re all busy: we all have work and countless responsibilities that often leave us feeling exhausted.

Dedicate time - It might help to schedule dedicated time for pursuing this goal, like making sure you have a babysitter booked one night a week to go to your salsa class, etc.

Use a meetup app - There are also dedicated apps and social media networks to help people connect and make friends

Transition dates to friendships - If you’re also single and checking out the dating scene, be mindful of dates that could lead to friendships.

Accept invitations - When we’re trying to put ourselves out there and make new friends, it’s important to remind ourselves to say “yes” more often.

Overcoming anxious avoidance - If your social anxiety is playing into your decision to turn down invitations, remember that the other person invited you for a reason and they want you there.

Initiate! - In addition to accepting invitations, make sure that you’re also taking the initiative! Making friends is a two-way street.

Be friendly and open - Start a conversation with someone, ask them how they ended up there, if they’ve done anything like it before, etc.

Try to engage - Push yourself to take the initiative. Maybe you could organize a group chat or suggest going for coffee or pizza with the group.

Don't take it personally - It’s also important to remember that if it doesn’t happen, you don’t need to take it personally.

Keep showing up - Rome wasn’t built in a day, and friendships aren’t made overnight. Building genuine connections requires us to keep showing up and keep putting in the effort.

The "exposure effect" - It’s important to keep “the exposure effect” in mind when trying to sustain your commitment to making new friends.

Take your time - If you’re shy or have difficulty initiating, it’s totally fine to take it slow and get comfortable in the class or group before you try to make a friend there.

Patience and effort - To summarize, the key to making friends as an adult is that you have to put in the effort and keep trying.