How to make friends as an adult
It's not child's play -
Making friends as an adult requires positivity and proactivity. When we’re young, the circumstances of our lives (school, neighborhood kids, etc.)
Be proactive - The first step is to focus on being open to new people and new experiences.
Dwelling on the negatives -
Adult minds are more likely to overthink things like the possibility of rejection or not being fun enough.
Create a life that you enjoy - We feel like we need more friends to be happy and fulfilled, but being happy and fulfilled makes it a lot easier to make new friends.
Get organized -
We’re all busy: we all have work and countless responsibilities that often leave us feeling exhausted.
Dedicate time -
It might help to schedule dedicated time for pursuing this goal, like making sure you have a babysitter booked one night a week to go to your salsa class, etc.
Use a meetup app -
There are also dedicated apps and social media networks to help people connect and make friends
Transition dates to friendships -
If you’re also single and checking out the dating scene, be mindful of dates that could lead to friendships.
Accept invitations - When we’re trying to put ourselves out there and make new friends, it’s important to remind ourselves to say “yes” more often.
Overcoming anxious avoidance -
If your social anxiety is playing into your decision to turn down invitations, remember that the other person invited you for a reason and they want you there.
In addition to accepting invitations, make sure that you’re also taking the initiative! Making friends is a two-way street.
Be friendly and open - Start a conversation with someone, ask them how they ended up there, if they’ve done anything like it before, etc.
Try to engage -
Push yourself to take the initiative. Maybe you could organize a group chat or suggest going for coffee or pizza with the group.
Don't take it personally -
It’s also important to remember that if it doesn’t happen, you don’t need to take it personally.
Keep showing up -
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and friendships aren’t made overnight. Building genuine connections requires us to keep showing up and keep putting in the effort.
The "exposure effect" -
It’s important to keep “the exposure effect” in mind when trying to sustain your commitment to making new friends.
Take your time -
If you’re shy or have difficulty initiating, it’s totally fine to take it slow and get comfortable in the class or group before you try to make a friend there.
Patience and effort -
To summarize, the key to making friends as an adult is that you have to put in the effort and keep trying.