The funniest Chuck Norris jokes

On fears -
When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

On Gambling - Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.

On space -
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

On pajamas - Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

On sleep -
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

On the Internet - Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because he will never submit.

On television -
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

On dying - Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

On email - Chuck Norris's email:

On breakfast - Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with is teeth, and boils his water with his rage.

On grenades -
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.

On exercise -
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

On energy drinks - Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage—it's called Red Bull.

On geography - There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

On religion -
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

On fire - Chuck Norris can make a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

On crying -
Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. He has never cried.

On birth -
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. 

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